time goes by much too fast

I have to go into battle
sooner than I can catch my breath

Weekends tick,
but they never last.
they never exist.

I often wish they actually didn't
So I'd be forced to realise
that the battle is insane.
That there's no way I could go on.
Not without a looooooooong break...

maybe tomorrow?
maybe tomorrow
maybe forever

I want a break that lasts forever
that would be nice...

A break where I can really relax
take deep breaths
feel the sunlight on my eyelids
open them and not have to see my worries

short breaks just don't seem to cut it
I always brood about their end coming too soon.


      When will I snap?
      I'm waiting

      It's like waiting and thinking about it is somehow a treatment.
      Temporary respite from madness. 

      Thinking about a problem means I'm sane right?
      That's what a normal person would do, so therefore I'm a-ok. ready for another day!

      I sometimes think about going to fake-prison.
      not real prison, cuz A: I don't want a criminal record, and B: I've heard it really sucks
      But it's like prison as a concept from the outside. Like a place you just go to, and are forgotten, and get a bunch of time to think out your brain gunk.
      It would probably manifest itself into worse brain gunk if I stayed in a prison cell though. Hence I want fake-prison.

      Fake-prison would be like my normal life, except more free. I'd be free to do whatever I wanted to, and if I dared to,
      I could even take steps towards places I've never been, or even envisioned going to before that very spontaneous decision.
      I would step outside and not worry about work or nothing. Just take a breath, and walk the other way that day. Maybe I would even hear the birds, those exist I've heard.

      I'd be walking slower than usual, and there would be buildings on either side (most likely). Sometimes there would be a graveyard on one side, and sometimes the ocean.
      If I looked up I'd see the clouds. A very strange day that would be.

      Fake-prison would encompass the entire globe. I wouldn't be allowed to leave, and I wouldn't be allowed to do anything overly crazy inside it either (like murder).
      I would however be allowed to people watch. See how others like me walk around on their legs! Each with their own story, all of them also in fake-prison!